One Blank Wall
by HappyDappyDrunk
Summary: Sirius can no longer take Remus' impassive attitude. He preaches for his friend to express his emotions, and not keep everything bottled up inside. But can Sirius deal with his own feelings? RLSB Mild Slash. [Complete crap. You were warned.]
1. The Kiss

A/N: 

Why, hello! It's me again with another story! Yay! I actually have time to type all this crap up. Although, I was forced to write and put up this story. I'm not much a slash writer, mainly because I'm not a big fan with slash couples, but my friends are. Once they heard I hadn't written a slash fic before... Well, they decided to torture me until I did. I have written a grand total of five, and they still aren't giving up. I gave permission for one of my friends to post a more, um, graphic story of mine (which still haunts me and my HTML format dreams) on her sight, but I'm not telling the name or its location. *shiver* Bad memories. So, anyway, here I am with a G-rated slashness and PG-rated story (due to lots of yelling which might disturb the kiddies). This is one of my first kiss versions between Sirius and Remus (they are the only slash couple I find acceptable to write about). Please don't yell at me too much! This is one of my friend's favorites. I may have to write more than one chapter to this because I totally warped my original ending. Don't forget to review!!

WARNING: This story contains mild slash. (Which I rate very, very mild... In fact, it hardly exists. O.o)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my plot. *clings to plot* Mine! *hisses*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Now, as you all learned, werewolves are very dangerous, dark creatures. As it is my job to prepare you to face anything and everything, today's lesson will be solely about the killing and trapping techniques for such a beast." Professor Quibbling announced to his advanced class, looking around the small dungeon impatiently. "Come on now! Get out some parchment to take notes."

The class scrambled through their bags, pulling out their supplies as quickly as possible and bumping a few heads in the process. Although the class was small, the more advanced dark arts classes had to take place in the tiniest dungeon, as it was the most equipped for their experiments, some of which required no light. There was hardly any room for the long table, which all the eight students sat at. 

Satisfied all attention directed toward him, the Defense professor continued. "The most potent element to pair a werewolf against is silver, since such information is elementary I will spare you the lecture, but rather, ask one question. What is the biggest muggle superstition for killing a werewolf?"

Lily Evans raised her hand. "That would be silver bullets, professor."

"Very good, Miss Evans. Yes, silver bullets are exactly what muggles first used to do away with whoever they claimed to be a werewolf. Much like the witch-hunts of the medieval times. It is speculated that wizards were the ones who introduced the concept of silver for dealing with the full moon monsters to muggles. Using this knowledge, muggles were able to create many tools for werewolf hunting, such as the widely popular silver bullets- "

Looking up from his notes, Remus slowly raised his hand, and Quibbling blew out a hard sigh, looking down at his shoes while massaging his temples.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"Um-actually, sir, it was a squib who first introduced silver bullets. His name was Cumulius Bowen, somewhat of a racing broom expert at the time. He had taken to fiddling with muggle weapons, the gun among them, and inspired by his last failure, the silver-tipped arrows and crossbow, spread the idea of using silver for bullets, especially in areas of Romania. He had mainly muggles and squibs such as himself in mind when making the silver bullets, because they would be unable to conjure a silver cage or the like to distract the werewolf while they escaped."

"How very insightful, Mr. Lupin. Perhaps you would rather be up here. Hmm?"

"No, sir," he said, ducking his head down.

"Well then, I suppose you should leave the teaching to me, but I can see how you can hardly contain your knowledge. So you may write me a foot and a half on the affects of pure silver on werewolves and the current ways the ministry is using it to control the werewolf populous."

"Yes, professor."

"Now, as I was saying..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How could you let him treat you that way, Remus?" Sirius asked, stepping out into the corridor.

Remus shrugged, straightening the shoulder strap on his bag. "I don't know... Just used to, I guess."

" But I don't understand. You were right and he was wrong-"

"-Very true," James piped in from their side, his eyes never leaving Lily and her group chatting some ways down the hall.

"-Why didn't you stand up for yourself?"

"Because that would only lead to more trouble, and it just wasn't worth it," said Remus, "I mean, what's a little extra work?"

"A little extra work? A little? Come on, Moony! I've seen your work pile. You're taking the hardest classes Hogwarts can offer, not to mention those monthly visits to the shack don't help either."

"I think it's great you're worried about me, but I can take care of myself just fine," he said to a pouting Sirius. 

"He's right mate," James informed no longer dead to the world. "Oh bugger! We had better hurry Peter or we'll be late for Runes. See you guys at lunch!"

With a wave, the two were gone.

"Why does he even take that stupid class?"

"Lily, of course," Remus mumbled, rummaging through his bag.

"Of course."

"Hmph."

"What is it?"

"My ink well leaked all over my bag," he said, dropping to the ground.

"Let me help," Sirius offered, kneeling beside Remus.

Speechlessly, the two cleaned out Remus' bag. Sirius watched his friend calmly mutter a cleaning charm, reversing most of the damage. The bag itself proved harder to clean than expected, but Remus insisted it would be all right if it remained a little splotchy. He claimed it gave the bag a more nostalgic quality.

"I don't get it Remus."

"Get what?" he asked fastening his bag shut.

"How can you be so calm all the time? Don't you ever feel things?"

"Of course I feel things," Remus said, giving his friend an odd look as they walked down the near-empty corridor.

"I mean emotions. Strong ones."

The werewolf nodded. "I do."

"Like what?" he wondered aloud, stopping in the middle of the hall, while Remus continued on, ignoring the question. "It's just... I feel things like anger, happiness, and sadness... And more complicated emotions like jealousy, hatred, heartache, and... love... Sometimes all in one day. But you? You're like one wall, blank and so very optimistic."

Remus stopped and turned toward Sirius with a grunt. "If this is about Quibbling-"

"That's only a part of it. One-fifth, no, one-eighth! Not once in the five and a half-year I've known you have you cried. Not even after your parents separated. When everyone walks all over you, and I mean everyone (even James and me), you just ignore it."

"I'm hardly going to stop a friendship over a little homework copying."

"What about the Whomping Willow incident with Snape, who, I might add, you can't even hate or dislike? I betrayed you that night, and the next morning you shrugged it off, blaming yourself. I was racked with guilt, and still am. You never accepted my apology or blew me off. James and Peter wouldn't even look in my direction for a month, but you acted as if nothing had happened!"

"If it makes you feel any better, I accept your apology. Now, come on or we'll be late to class," Remus said, pulling Sirius by the arm.

"What about the girls mate?"

At this, Remus blushed and let go of Sirius' arm. "What do you mean?"

"Well, anyone who gives you puppy dog eyes, you ignore. And as far as an outburst or showing jealousy, I can't recall a single time you showed any symptoms of them... Being a stoic doesn't make you perfect, you know? It just makes you an empty shell!" he shouted, his anger at its peak.

"I feel lots of emotions, Sirius," he said, shaking his head. "A lot."

"There you go again, acting so composed and speaking in that calm voice of yours. Get angry for once in your life! I can tell you want to yell at me for acting so stupid."

"I have no desire to yell at you, Padfoot-"

"Then what do you want to do?" asked Sirius, his chest heaving, "I can tell you're hiding something from me. What is it?"

Remus faced forward, muttering with petty bitterness, "Nothing."

"I touched a nerve, didn't I?" he said, lowering his voice. "Come on, tell me what's up?"

"It's nothing."

Sirius marched up in front of Remus, blocking his path. "You need to express your emotions, Remus. Right not before I have to yell at you some more!"

Remus pulled back, hesitation in his eyes as he checked the hallway, then leaned up to his friend, leaving no space between them, and kissed him, unbound by the limitations of a first kiss. Finally, he backed away.

"Happy now?"

"Um," stuttered the dazed animagus.

"What? Is the great emotional Sirius Black rendered speechless by one kiss?"

"I..."

That's what I thought," Remus said, shaking his head again and walking on to class without another word.

Sirius stared after him, regretting everything he had said and wishing feeling did not hurt so much.


	2. The Talk

A/N:

Well, here it is, the second chapter. Sorry it took so long, but I had many problems in getting time to type it up. First, I had about a billion projects given to me. Second, I spilled water on my keyboard and it took two and a half days to dry out. I was scared it wouldn't work ever again. Writing it wasn't as hard as I thought it be, but this chapter is short. My idea machine is shut down temporarily. Although I like my ending to this chapter, I would have liked to end the story right here, right now, but alas, I couldn't think of any more. Hopefully, there will only be one more chapter to this story. Please enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I wonder where Sirius could be," said James, tossing glances around the Great Hall anxiously, "It's not like him to miss a meal."

Peter nodded through a mouthful, then turned toward Remus swallowing. "Do you know where he went, Moony?"

Remus inched down into his book, hiding his nose deep within its pages. "I haven't seen him since Arithmancy ended," he lied, knowing Sirius had not even come to class.

James made a 'huh' noise before turning back to his sandwich, trying to concentrate on eating it. His gaze flickered to Lily, who sat a few seats up and across the table, back to his sandwich, then up to Lily once more. Frowning, he jumped up, muttering, "I'm going to go look for Sirius."

Remus glanced up urgently from the pages of his large book. "Wait! I'll come with you, he said, pushing up on the table.

James shook his head. "Don't bother mate. Just enjoy your lunch," he said, disappearing without another thought.

Closing his book, Remus let out a small sigh and looked up at Peter, who had finished his own sandwich and was eyeing Remus'. He pushed his plate toward his friend.

"Take it. I'm going to the library."

Now sitting alone in the Marauder's usual slice of the Gryffindor table, Peter reached for Remus' sandwich. Laughter erupted behind him, and he turned around to see a group of third year Slytherins as the source, finding a particular nasty one pointing in his direction and going red in the face. His gaze traveled down to his stomach, then up to his sandwich. With an injured look, he set the sandwich down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laying in the Gryffindor stands, Sirius watched as clouds slowly floated by overhead. He took note that one resembled James' racing broom, another like a troll, and the one directly above him looked exactly like a wolf. At the thought of the latter one, he let out a groan.

"Why does everything come back to Remus?" he asked the empty Quidditch pitch, sitting up to find it not so empty. James was circling the pitch. Sirius raised his arms and began to wave them violently, calling out to the stag. "Hey Prongs! Up here!"

Looking up to the stands, James gave a relieved smile before shouting back. "What are you doing up there? You're missing lunch!"

"I was just thinking, but I can come down."

"No! I'm coming up," he said, running towards the stands and was soon sitting beside his friend. "So what were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Nothing? I see your mind is as empty as always."

Sirius stood up to his full height. "Are you insulting my intelligence, Potter?"

"Maybe I am, Black," he replied, doing the same, but falling an inch too short to be much of a threat.

Locking stares, they broke down with laughter, an after quieting down, James turned to Sirius.

"No, really, Sirius. What were you thinking about? And don't try that 'nothing' on me again. You only come out here to deal with serious thoughts, not that you have many."

"Ouch mate." He sighed, resting back on the bench and hugging his knees. "I guess I was mulling over the curious events of late this morning."

"Which would be?"

Sirius tilted his head back, dragging a hand down the side of his face and leaving it over his mouth. "Wermus hissed fee."

James gave a quizzical look. "Hermits fixed you? What?"

Sirius tried not to laugh at the question, bringing his head down. "I said, Remus kissed me."

"That's not a what I heard... First, I thought you said 'Worms and lisped bee.' Then there was the possibility of 'Walrus assisted me,' but I also-"

"James, stop rambling."

He blew out a sigh. "Right."

A dangerous silence clung to the air, causing James to shift uncomfortably.

"You mean like-"

"A kiss. On the mouth."

"But you don't think-"

"Yes, he meant it."

There came another sigh. "Right," he said, furrowing his eyebrows and running a hand through his hair uncertainly. "You don't think there's the slightest-"

"No."

James nodded for a moment, becoming comfortable with the idea. "So our friend Remus is a pouf?"

Sirius nodded in return, a frown tensing the corners of his mouth. "The thing is, well, I think I am too."


	3. The Plan

A/N: 

Well, this won't be the last chapter. Unfortunately, I've discovered slash plots very difficult to keep going, and now wish I stuck with the one- shot version. I'd tell you what happens in that one, but it would just ruin the ending to this one. This chapter was going to be part of the last one, but I've run out of juice and this is all I have so far. Rest assured the NEXT chapter will be the last. Think of this as the last hurtle before the finish line... Or something. (That was exactly why I avoid analogies in my stories at all costs.) And remember to praise all good slash writers, cause it's not that easy. It takes little effort to ruin a plot, as I well know. Please review and read some of my other work during the wait for the last chapter. I love to read reviews. The thought of possibly getting them is like waiting for Christmas morning. For example, today, I got up at 9:36 a.m. and the first thing I did was not say good morning to my mother. It was to check my stats for Our Demons. Ah. The necessities of being a writer. Any who, this A/N is long enough. Read, review, be happy. 

Cheers, 

H.D.D 

------------------------------- 

Remus sat huddled over a piece of parchment, but for once in his life, he wasn't writing facts at the speed of light. In fact, he was just staring at it, quill poised in hand. Frowning, he leaned back in his chair and dropped the quill aside. He knew he should be working on the essay Quibbling assigned, but he couldn't get one thing out of his mind. Sirius. Releasing a groan, he rubbed his temples. 

_How could I have been so utterly stupid?_ he asked himself, then continued aloud, "What did I expect him to do? I mean, he was my friend and I kissed him!" 

The words echoed through the book shelves, and Remus cringed. He'd said that a little too loud. Quickly, he skimmed the library for any visitors, but found himself to be the only patron. He sighed, and rested his elbow on the table. 

"Why did I kiss him?" he whispered. 

_Because you like him_, suggested a voice inside his head. 

Remus bit his bottom lip at the thought. "Do I really?" 

He'd really never given it much consideration until now, but the answer was a confirmed yes as his stomach did flip-flops at the thought of his doggy friend. He pounded a fist on the table in frustration. 

"Oh bugger... What am I going to do?" 

"For starters, Mister Lupin," came a stern voice from behind him, "I suggest you stop talking to yourself." 

Remus turned, only to find a disgruntled librarian looking down on him. "Sorry." 

"Why don't you finish your work and your conversation in the privacy of your own common room?" 

He nodded, blushing a cherry red, then gathered up his things. Without another word, he rushed out of the library. 

--------------------------------- 

There was one word to describe James Potter at this moment. Shocked. He was gasping for air, while trying to form words to describe his hysteria. Apparently, killing two birds with one stone in one day was too much for Sirius' friend to bear. 

"James... You all right, mate?" Sirius asked, leaning toward him. 

James staggered back, his wheezing coming down to a minimum. "I-I'm fine. S-Sirius. Just a little, ah, confused." 

Sirius continued to frown. "Are you okay a-about this?" 

"Oh, I'm great. Just great about everything." 

"James," Sirius warned. 

"What? I'm fine. Can't you tell?" James said, pointing to his false grin. "JUST FANTASTIC, BECAUSE TWO OF MY FRIENDS ARE FLAMING-" 

The world for James dimmed at that very moment, brightening up once more after what felt like an eternity later and accompanied by a serious headache. He moaned as someone lifted him back onto the stands, rubbing one side of his head and wincing as he touched his right eye. 

"Sorry about that James, but-" 

He raised his arm, shushing Sirius. "It's all right. I deserved it, and I'm sorry. ...It's just weird, you know?" 

Sirius sighed. "Believe me, I didn't intend for things to work out like this." 

Suddenly, James laughed, receiving an odd glance for Sirius. 

"What?" Sirius asked. 

"A very funny thing just struck me." 

"My fist?" 

James grinned. "No. Padfoot and Moony." 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Do you need to go to the hospital wing?" 

The Stag shook his head. "No, no, no. Think about it. Of all the forms you could have taken as an animagus, what did you end up as?" 

"A dog, so what-OOH," Sirius said with a new revelation. "It's like destiny was biting me in the ass all along." 

"You're not so thick after all." 

"HEY!" 

They mock-glared at each other for a while before dissolving into laughter. It was an unspoken message that things were all right again. 

----------------------------------- 

As Remus left the library, a sudden horror came to mind. The Marauders had Astronomy tonight. No doubt, Sirius would want to talk about what happened earlier, but he wasn't sure he could face that conversation just yet. He could skip dinner easily enough, but classes were a different story. An unexplained absence would bring up some serious questioning, and after all, he was a prefect. He had to maintain a certain amount of- 

"No," Remus said to himself. "I won't go. That's the easiest way to avoid Sirius. I won't go to dinner or Astronomy." 

He smiled, turning down the corridor that lead to the portrait door. "While everyone else is at dinner, I can wait it out in the dorm, and during Astronomy I'll nick some food from the kitchens." 

Grinning like a madman, he gave the password ('Pickled Toads') and walked through the portrait door. "By the time everyone gets back, Sirius and the others will be too tired to even care about this whole mess." 

---------------------------------- 

Thanks to all who reviewed on the past chapters. How about doing me a favor and doing it again? 

My really stupid thing for today: trying to put the /p/ tags on the document to save time before loading it onto the document manager after I'd read about a million times NOT to. 

Today's moral: Don't try updating at 1 a.m, folk. Especially after virtually no sleep for three days. 


	4. The End

A/N:  
  
Here it is. The End. After a small (actually very LARGE) spider run-in last night, I once again deemed this room safe. I just hope my cat killed it, but won't rest safe until I see its body. (Are spiders allowed to be four inches round in Georgia?) Anyway, after I have somewhat recovered from what I call my Ron Weasley complex, I decided I should go ahead and finish the fic. Just because my old friend Autumn thought it would be fun for two nine year olds to watch Arachnophobia doesn't mean I should let my fear of some strange Amazon spider coming into my home and killing everyone slow my writing. This is how dedicated I am to you. Enjoy the LAST CHAPTER!  
  
Cheers,  
  
H.D.D.  
  
----------------------------  
  
The afternoon dwindled away, and now three-fourths of the Marauders were sitting in the Great Hall eating dinner. Actually, one was eating, Peter was staring at his plate nervously, and Sirius was pushing the food around his plate. He sighed, looking up every now and then to see if Remus had appeared.  
  
"Eat Sirius," commanded James from his left.  
  
Sirius shook his head and leaned back, dropping his fork. "I can't."  
  
"He's not coming to dinner."  
  
"I know, but he'll be at class," Sirius mumbled, frowning at the thought.  
  
Peter looked up. "Who are you guys talking about?"  
  
"Sirius, what are you going to do?"  
  
"I'm not going to go," he said.  
  
"Just going to run away from all your problems then?"  
  
Peter had a sour look on his face. "Well, if you aren't going to tell me, I'm going up to the common room."  
  
"You make it sound as if I robbed Gringotts, James."  
  
"Think how much that would hurt Remus."  
  
Sirius avoided a stern look from James. "It's easier this way. It gives me some time to think."  
  
James slowly nodded. "Okay. I'll cover for you."  
  
"Thanks," he said, looking around and discovering Peter missing. "Where'd Pete go?"  
  
James shrugged. "I don't know, but I better get going to class. She's making us come early to review our charts, remember?"  
  
"Right. I think I'll go hide out in the kitchens. That way I'll avoid Remus and get all the desert I want."  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Remus stretched, looking around the empty dorm room. He had given Peter a flimsy excuse about being sick to tell the others. By now, they'd be in class, and it was safe to head to the kitchens. He grinned at the prospect of chocolate cake and an awkward-free conversation with the elves.  
  
------------------------------  
  
"Hey Pete! Where'd you go at dinner?" James asked, taking a seat next to his friend.  
  
"Up to the common room. You guys didn't seem to know I existed."  
  
James frowned. "Sorry. Sirius was just-"  
  
"Spare me the details James. It's okay, really," Peter snapped.  
  
"Right..." He looked around the room. "Where's Remus?"  
  
"Oh, found him in the dorm. He told me he wasn't feeling well. Said he'd go down to the kitchens later to get some food."  
  
James grinned. "The kitchens?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Perfect."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sirius stood in the kitchens surrounded by house-elves. After putting in an order for cheese and tomato sandwich and some cobbler, he took a seat in the corner, wondering what Remus was thinking right now. He mentally winced, hoping Remus wouldn't be too upset. He just needed some time to think. A house-elf popped up in front of him, holding out a tray. He picked up his sandwich, taking a big bite as someone stepped into the kitchens.  
  
"Remus!" Sirius shouted, choking on his mouthful.  
  
"Sirius... What are you doing here?"  
  
"W-what am I doing here? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Getting something to eat," Remus said.  
  
"Me too."  
  
"What can we get you, sir?" asked the cheerful elf who'd brought Sirius his sandwich.  
  
"Actually, I'm not so sure I'll be having anything, but thank you," Remus replied kindly.  
  
"No. There's no reason the two of us can't eat here," Sirius said, signaling to a nearby chair.  
  
Remus smiled. "Alright, then. I'll have a piece of chocolate cake," he said, taking a seat in the chair.  
  
"So..." Sirius said.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"This is awkward, isn't it?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Very."  
  
"We both skipped Astronomy to avoid this, didn't we?"  
  
"Yes, I think so."  
  
Sirius set his sandwich down as an elf brought Remus his cake. "Some service, huh?"  
  
"Yeah... Sirius?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's talk," Remus said, pushing his cake aside.  
  
Sirius groaned. "Right now?"  
  
"Are you upset?"  
  
"No."  
  
Remus gave a small smile. "Good."  
  
"You thought I'd end our friendship over something as small as a kiss?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Well, yes. I did. ...I mean, you don't, er, swing that way right? So I wouldn't call a kiss like that so... small."  
  
Sirius coughed. "Actually, I do."  
  
"You do what?"  
  
Sirius took another bite of his sandwich, answering through a mouthful. "Ring hart fey."  
  
Remus' eyes widened. "...No..."  
  
He nodded, swallowing. "I do."  
  
"Does James know?"  
  
"Yes. Has a black eye to prove it."  
  
Remus picked up a fork and took a bite of his chocolate cake. "This is odd. I'm gay. You're gay. And I kissed you-"  
  
"Which made me realize I did swing that way."  
  
"And you told James..."  
  
Sirius nodded. "And now I wish I was kissing you instead of making lips with this sandwich."  
  
Remus began to choke on his cake, while Sirius grinned. "What did you say?"  
  
"Kiss me," Sirius said, leaning in close.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Astronomy was over and now the Marauders minus two were heading back to Gryffindor tower.  
  
"Where are you going, Peter? The tower is this way," James said, stopping as Peter took a wrong turn.  
  
"I know, but I haven't eaten since lunch. I'm starving."  
  
"Alright, then. See you back in the common room."  
  
Peter waved, and headed towards the portrait of fruit. He tickled the pear and stepped in the the kitchen, unfortunately, stepping in upon two of his best mates kissing. There was a loud thud and Sirius and Remus looked over to find Peter out cold on the kitchen floor. They grinned and pulled apart.  
  
"Guess I was wrong, Remus."  
  
"About what?" Remus asked, taking another bite of cake.  
  
"You do have feelings. You have all of them."  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Ah. The End. Hope you enjoyed my first slash fic (well, my first one opened to the public). Please review and boost my self-esteem as a writer or shoot it down. Either way, review please. 


End file.
